


No One Needs To Know

by Cheesebirb



Category: South Park
Genre: F/M, I am now certified trash, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-18
Updated: 2015-03-18
Packaged: 2018-03-18 12:04:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3568958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheesebirb/pseuds/Cheesebirb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>First impressions are everything when you are the new kid in town. However your first impression with your neighbor involved having your pet bird rip his hand apart and screech obscenities at him. </p>
<p>Well, they say second time's a charm. </p>
<p>[ReaderxCraig Tucker]</p>
            </blockquote>





	No One Needs To Know

**Author's Note:**

> Oh gosh long AN ahead. I decided to write this to contribute to this insanely small section on Luna (and AO3). I always pray for a new story or an update from my favs, but never bother to try and help out. But I decided to crawl out of my shell four years later and contribute. So here I am with a lame “New Girl” story! Which is honestly my fav kind of story.  
> I'm basing some of these “Small Town” jokes off of stuff in my own hometown. I pretty much grew up in a Florida version of “South Park.” Without all the crazy stuff. But all of the drug dealers, sex, animals having sex in your backyard, people trying to kill each other, white boys trying to be gangsters, hobos in your neighborhood forest, houses blowing up because of meth drug dealers, ect. Okay now that I recall some of this stuff, it was pretty crazy.  
> Small towns suck.  
> 0/10 would not recommend.  
> Anyways I hope you like this silly story! This is one of the VERY few stories that I'm writing without a real plot in mind hehe (so feel free to offer ideas or things you would like to see!!). It's also my first Reader Insert.

It was different. Very different. It was a completely new world to you, and quite frankly you weren't sure if you liked it.

 

About a week ago your father had announced he was retiring from his job and that they would be moving to a less expensive town. He had previously been a talented neurosurgeon stationed in the big city of San Francisco. So you were ridiculously well off financially, family wise not so much. Granted it wasn't anything too pitiful, just annoying hours that made it near impossible to catch your dad when you needed him. This lack of family time is what brought on the decision. Both of your parents had agreed to the idea of moving to a remote country town. Saying that it would be peaceful and serene, that they would finally be able to be a simple happy family.

 

So that in turn led to you saying goodbye to all of your friends back in high school. While it hurt beyond belief to know you were just a year short of graduating with all of your childhood friends, there was no point in sobbing over it. After all, you already had tons of plans to visit them again when Summer vacation came up. On the bright side of all this, at least there was a new life awaiting in this new town. The idea of moving to a peaceful town full of cute farm animals and cute little family owned cafes sounded amazing. Just like in all those cliché movies that took place in said small, remote, country towns.

 

At least that was your initial thought.

 

Now that you were driving through your new home town, part of you had to wonder if those movies were lying or if this town was just a piece of shit. An exasperated sigh escaped your lips as you slumped into your seat. “Hey Sis,I found your cute farm animals! Look!” Your older brother shouted, jabbing your shoulder to grab your attention. His announcement managed to lift your hopes and you quickly brought your head back up to look out his window.

 

Well, he wasn't wrong. It was indeed cute farm animals. However they weren't exactly being cute in the slightest. With a disgusted scowl, you pulled away from the window and resumed your sulking in the car seat as your older brother began cackling with laughter. Any hope you had of a cute town was violently banged to nothing. Just like that poor pony.

 

After a short time of maneuvering around the town, the car came to a slow halt in front of a generic looking house. It was about the same size as your house back at home, but about 1/10th of the price your family paid for said house. Your parents could have easily afforded one of the mansions here, but decided against it. Claiming that they wanted to be a “regular family” and not draw attention to themselves for reasons like money. They always were like that, not to mention huge cheapskates. Your mother hunted coupons like they we reliving off a low income from a part time job.

 

“Well, this is it. I’m sure you both will love it here in no time.” Your mother chimed with a smile, “So, (name) you start school this coming Monday. Tomorrow is open house, I think you should go. You'll have to take a bus though since the high school is in another town.”Your mother explained. She had previously explained this in the car along with a few times on the airplane. Seems like she was really determined to drill the information into your head. “Your boxes are already in your room. Also here’s the address to the pet sitter taking care of Rin.” Your mother added, giving you a small notebook before turn her attention to your brother.

 

Rin was your pet parrot. Or more specifically a Macaw. Due to a full airline flight (and your parent’s insanely kind personalities) they offered to give up their seats and you had to wait about three days for another flight, so your pet had left without you. Thankfully your mother found someone to take care of your high maintenance, exotic pet and pick them up from the airport. Then again you were sure someone would take care of a full grown alligator for the price your mother was paying them.

“Oh wait! (Name)!Don't go yet. I paid them to take of your pet till Sunday, so just focus on unpacking and getting ready for school. I promise Rin is just fine with this sitter. I texted the sitter and they said Rin is just fine.” Your mom suddenly called out as you were about to leave. Honestly speaking, you felt uncomfortable leaving your dear pet alone with some redneck who lived in  _this_  town. Your mother was stubborn though, and you knew that it was best to just listen for now.

 

With a sigh, you nodded to your mom and went inside the new house. Might as well get this packing over with.

 

—*—

 

Saturday afternoon you were finally leaving that god forsaken high school. Open house had been boring and yet again your hopes were crushed. When your mom said the high school was in the next town over you had hopes it would be a step up from this rundown redneck town. Yet here you were, in a trashy high school. On the bright side at least it wasn't crowded in the slightest and all the classes were relatively close by each other. Apparently there was only about 200 or so Senior students in this school. Which was quite the shock since your last school had about 900 if not more.

 

When the bus arrived at the stop, you made a double check with your phone before boarding the rather crowded bus. Luckily there were three empty seats, to which you quickly took the one by the window. For a small town you were rather surprised the buses would be packed. Then again maybe this was the only bus here. Taking out your phone, you clicked on your usual music and stuck headphones into your ears.

 

Not really paying much mind to your surrounding, you were rather surprised when you felt a weight hit your shoulders following a sharp turn from the bus. Though that surprise soon wore off. Having taken public transport daily back at home, you were rather use to these things. Taking out an ear bud you turned your head to see who had fallen on your shoulder. He looked around your age range, with black hair and a rather plain jacket. Though that hat on his head sure caught you eye, seeing as it was the only brightly colored thing he wore. Next was the cast on his hand. Judging by the familiar papers rolled up in one hand, you could assume they were also a student at this high school. Considering he was taking this bus, you could probably assume he also lived in South Park as well.

 

Had you not been so used to these kind of events, you might have been a little flustered from this. You pursed your lips, wondering if you should wake up the male asleep on your shoulder or just wait for the stop. With a quiet sigh,you stuck your headphones back in and decided to go with the latter. It wasn't like it was doing much harm.

 

The ride didn't last much longer, the bus soon coming to its final stop in South Park. The bus was rather empty by the time it arrived, only you, the sleeping boy,and two others. Wrapping your headphones up, you felt the weight on your shoulder suddenly disappear, and the black haired boy quickly grabbing his bag, mumbling a cuss under his breath and leaving hastily. With a raised brow you had to wonder if they realized the previous events. Didn't seem like it, they seemed more stressed rushed than flustered rushed, like they had something to do. With a shrug you grabbed your own stuff and left the bus with no rush. You bid the driver goodnight before heading home.

 

–*–

 

Sunday couldn't come sooner. Your mother had informed you that the pet sitter was ready for you to come and pick up Rin. In a flash you were out the door and hurriedly heading to the address on the piece of paper your mother gave you earlier. Except there was one problem.

 

You had no clue what any of the street names were.

 

Feeling rather embarrassed about that mistake, you quickly pulled out your phone and typed in the address into Google maps. Only to feel even more embarrassed that you had walked right past the house in question. Laughing a bit to yourself, you turned around and started heading for the house,following the blue line on your phone screen. Your eyes glanced up upon reaching your destination, and you couldn't help but slap a hand to your face. The pet sitter literally lived right next to you. Talk about coincidence.

 

Tucking your phone away,you started for the front door. Knocking on the door and ringing the bell, you couldn't contain the smile on your face. After almost a week you would finally be able  
to see your beloved bird. The door soon opened, and to say you were surprised by the person who opened it would be an understatement.

 

It was the boy back on the bus. Judging by his impassive expression, you could assume he really wasn’t aware of the events on that bus. “Hi, are you the person taking care of Rin?” You spoke.

 

“You mean that demon bird? How the hell is that even a pet?” The boy said with a frown, “You stupid bird tried to rip my hand off and then started screeching cusses at me.” He snapped, holding up his injured hand in a cast. Part of you wanted to laugh but another part felt immensely horrible. Before you had a chance to apologize, the boy let out a sigh before opening the door more and gesturing for you to follow. “Demon bird is in the guest room.”

 

You followed closely behind and upon reaching the room you were greeted with a bird squawking your name happily at you. Let out a squeal of happiness,you rushed over to the large bird and quickly let it out of its cage. You had been to preoccupied with your reunion to hear the boy let out a noise of distress and quickly close the door. As Rin happily settled himself on your forearm, you glanced over only to see the closed door. “Don't worry, Rin is fine when he's with me.”You (trying your hardest not to laugh) called out, assuming that the other was probably traumatized by having a large bird cuss him out and attack.

 

After a moment the door opened. “Okay take your bird and get out of here. I want that demon out of here.” He said, already opening the front door and not taking his eyes off of the large bird on your shoulders.

 

“What about your payment–“

 

“Do it later, you still have your shit here so just give it to me when you come to pick it up.” The boy said, shutting the door the moment you and Rin were outside. A few moments passed before your bird suddenly chirped out an insult “Pussy.”. That was the straw that finally made you burst out laughing. You quickly walked back to your home lest the other heard you laughing at his misery.

 

Once you had dropped your bird back home, you headed back for next door to pick up the cage and other things–bringing a wagon with you. Repeating the previous routine, you knocked on the door followed by a bell ring, waiting patiently for the other to open the door. “You know the deal.”The boy said, pointing in the direction of the room.

 

“Right. Um, listen sorry about my bird. What exactly did he do though?” You decided to ask, pointing at the cast on his hand.

 

“I thought they were friendly. I've seen a bunch of YouTube videos about Macaws so I just went to pet the bastard and it screeched 'Asshole' at me before grabbing my hand and taking a snip out of it. I didn't know such acute beak could rip the skin off my pinky and more.” He explained, pulling out his phone and then showing the screen to you. Which was pictures of the injury he just explained. It wasn't nearly as gruesome as you had been expecting, but it was still pretty bad. Would defiantly leave a scar to say the least. “After that I locked it in the guest room and fed it with one of those claw things you buy at toy stores. If I had to go in, I went in with full armor and a shield. Cute baby parrot my ass.” He huffed, bringing his phone back and shoving it into his pocket.

 

“Oh...Sorry. Uh listen, my mom can pay for the hospital expenses. She should have warned you that Rin...well Rin hates males with a burning passion.”You said, nervously scratching the back of your head. “So I’m really sorry about this..uh.. whats your name again?” This whole time and you never did get a name about the boy.

 

The boy before you seemed to be mulling over your offer before letting out a sigh. “It’s fine. As long as I never have to see that damned bird again, that's enough for me. Also its' Craig. I'm guess your (name). Seeing as that demon bird is so friendly friendly with you.” He said.

 

You nodded at his assumption, laughing lightly at that repetitive nickname for your bird. It was pretty similar to what your guy friends back in San Francisco said about your pet. Demon Bird, Satan's personal pet, The bird from hell, et cetera. Ironically enough, all of your girlfriends said exact opposites, calling it an angelic cutie, a precious cinnamon bun, a perfect baby.

 

As you finished taking the cage apart and stacking up the pieces you glanced back over at Craig.“Oh, here you go by the way.” You said, getting up and digging into your pocket to pull out his payment. You had to hold in your laughter as he seemed to choke on his own spit at the money you held out. “Thank you so much again for this, I'll probably see you in the near future.” You said, putting your stuff in the wagon and bidding goodbye to your neighbor.

 

When you got home and explained the story to your mom, she began laughing while your father and brother exchanged sympathetic looks.

 


End file.
